sms : 30.July.2010.Fri

(1) Successful marriage depends on 2 tools. ' Beauty secrets' to wife and ' secret beauties' to husband !

(2)If you stand for any reason, be prepared to stand alone like a Tree. if you fall on hte ground, fall as a seed, that grows back to fight again !

(3) It's better to have a broken heart that can heel, than a closed heart that can't feel !

(4) Balakrishna , bullet proof jacket kakunDaa doma tera vesukunnaaDu. Jr.NTR : enduku babai ?
Balakrishna : andulo doma ne doora ledu , ika bullet emi dooru thundi raa abbai ? Jr.NTR : Nuvvu keka babai !

(5) Do you know why old gynecs are in demand ? Because of their trembling fingers !

(6) " khwabon ke andar zinda mat raho / balki apni andar khwaabon ko zinda rakho / mohabbat use nahi hoti jo khusurat ho / khubsurat woh hota / jise mohabbat ho ! "

(7) Balakrishna wife : ikkaDa peTTina Lifebuoy sabbu edi ? Balakrishna : Nene Tinesaa ! aarogyaaniki rakha istundi Lifebuoy ani paaTa vini ! Wife : Meeru KEKA anDi nijam gaa !

(8) Spell ' COW' in 13 letters ? ' see o double you'.

(9) " Every bad situation may have something positive. Even a stopped clock shows correct time at least twice a day. Think about it. "

(10) " aap nazar kab milaa dee / hamaari zindagi zhoom kar muskuraa dee / zubaan se hum kuch keh na sake / magar nigaahon ne puri dil ki kahaani sunaa dee ! "

(11) It's in the mixture. He offered her scotch and soda , she declined. He offered scotch and SOFA, she reclined ! "

(12) At a health forum, a doctor asks the audience, " What food causes most suffering to man, years after eating it ? " pat comes reply, ' Wedding Cake' .

(13) Similarity between Bill Clinton and Carpentar... " One wrong screw and the whole ' cabinet' falls apart. "

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sms 17.July.2010.Sat

(1)"Delhi Noir" by Harish Sawhney. Publishers : Akashic Books. 320 pages. Rs.325/-. Short stories.

(2) Sometimes we struggle through tasteless coffee till the last drop, only to find sugar at the bottom, That's Life. Sweetened but not stirred well.

(3) I purchased a tempting book, ' 64 mating positions'. I opened. It was about CHESS ! I was check mated ! KLPD.

(4) In pursuit of knowledge , we gain something every day. In pursuit of wisdom, we drop something every day.

(5) Door door gaon mein, jab bachcha nahin sotha hai, tho maa bolti hai ' soja beta ! soja ! warna.... warna.... warnaa.. doosra kaisa hoga ? "

(6)Sun rises everywhere but crops grows only where farmer works hard. God is everywhere, but Grace shine on those who work hard.

(7) What's common between Sun and woman's inner wear ? Both are hot, both look better while going down and both, disappear by night !

(8) There is no royal road to success. But after success, every road becomes a success. Wish you all the best.

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sms 16.July.2010

(1) What's the difference between a condom and a coffin ? Both are for stiff, but except, one is for coming and one is for going !

(2)'Tamanna tha, uss ki salwar ki naDa kholne ki / uss kaa bra ka hook toD ne ki / uss ka panty ka elastic ched ne ki/ par dekho uss ki bewafai / woh nangi hi chali aayi ! " (vivek)

(3) Judge : U raped an English Girl ? Santa : sir , uss ki naam sune tho, koi bhi karenge ? Judge : kya naam hai ? Santa : Rosemary Marlow !

(4) Girl : This guy smells my hair every day and says it's great ! Boss : What's the problem ? Girl : He's a midget !

(5)

jokes 09.July.2010

(1) To know about the world, and others, is intelligence. To know about oneself, is Wisdom. - Tao Te Ching.

(2) " aaj ka taap maan 43 degrees celcius. kripaya, aap, aap ki underwear mein, ice zaroor daale. warna, dono anDe, omlette ban ne kaa, aur mombatti pighale kaa sambhavana hai ! "

(3)shoib malik , sania mirza kaa gaand maarne laga hai. Sania : Ya Alla ! aage se daalo na ! shoib : Sex ya war, hum Paaki log, sirf peeche se hamla karte hain !

(4) Tweet : The grass isn't greener on the other side. You have to take better care of the grass on YOUR side.

(5) Sunanda Pushkar and Himesh Reshamya act in a movie, titled, ' aap ka Tharoor'.

(6) " Ego is like underwear. You may have it. Or you may not have it. But you need not show it ! "

(7) WE have only 2 options in Life. Accept. And Change. Accept what we can't change. And change what we can't accept.

(8) When I pray, I ask God for strength. I don't confuse it with control'. Deepak Chopra.
(9) Santa : " Loose motions never comes in slow motion "

(10) " Economics is rather an organic, evolutionary science, than, an exact physical science. steadfast laws and replicabilitydo not apply. " S.Bhootalingam.

(11) " The problem with the stereotypes is that, they are not untrue. They are incomplete. " Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie.

(12) ek aadmi buri haalat mein gaon gaya. Sab ne poocha, ' kya huva' ? kissan : manDi mein anaaj bech raha tha. ' Gehoon-Le-L', unho ne samjha, ' Gay-Hoon-Le-Lo'.

(13) Lady patient : Doctor saab, meere seene mein dard hai . Doctor : hum har mareez kaa ilaaz choos choos ke karte hain. Lady patient ka pathi khiDki se jhaank ke bola :mera pishaap band ho gaya hai.

(14) IPL 4 : 2011 version. Behen ji mayawati wants her candidate to be new chairman of IPL. Dalit Modi !

(15) " If there is a way, we will find it. If there is none, we will make it. " (MSP)

sms jokes 08.July.2010.

(1) A cotton wool, flying in Air, is due to its luck. But a bird , flying in Air is its effort. So, don't worry if Luck doesn't support you. Efforts are yours !

(2) Doctor to old man : Babu ji ! aap ke neeche ka dono goliyaa nikaalne paDegi . Old man : nikaalo beta ! jab bandook hee nahin chal rahi hai, tho goliyon kis kaam ka ? (MSP)

(3) Why do Muslims hate Pigs ? because, pigs produce more babies than muslims ! Ego problem, yaar ! ( MSP)

(4)' main ne kaha, ' dilruba, zara haath mila ! woh boli, ' pehle pizza khila! / main : sanam, mehengaai hai ! / woh : tho tum mera bhayi hai ! "

(5) Life is a great travel trip. But the problem is, it doesn't come with a map. WE have to search our own ways to reach the destination. (vij.laxmi pgfl)

(5) You are with your girl friend and want to take a leak. How do you tell her? I have to shake hands with my childhood friend, who, HOPEFULLY, I will introduce to you after dinner ! "

(6) " care should be in heart, not in words : Anger should be in words : not in heart! " (MSP)

(7) Billu ko antooTha choosen ki aadat thi. Parents ne usko Baba Ramdev ke paas bheja. Ab Billu apni Lund bhi choos letha hai, aaram se ! ( hitesh)

(8) A scientist wanted to develop a bra that stops women's breasts from bouncing while running & didn't show nipple's when wet ! Don't worry. We have killed that bastard !

(9) Ladki aur sms me kyaa similarity hai ? jab tak oopar se niche tak POORA nahin dekhaa, tho chayan nahin aati.

(10) When a person is wrapped up in himself, he makes up a p(r)etty small package. " ( John Ruskin)

(11) Book Recommendation : " It rained all night" by Budha Deb Bose. Penguin. 144 pages. Rs.150/-)

(12) Book recommendation : " Keep the change" by Nirupama Subramanyan. Harper Collins. 358 pages. Rs.199/-. Style of narration : very witty. very tongue in cheek.

(13) Life is like a flute. It may have several holes and emptyness.But if we work on it, the same flute produces magical melodies. B positive. ( KVS Chiru)

(14) Teacher : I want you to tell me the longest sentence you can think of. Student : Life Impisonment.

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