july.2005 /sms jokes
1) Do you know why Phillips' girl friend was pretty upset with him?
She realised,that,' Phillips 14 inch" was a television set !!
2) What do you do with 365 rubbers ? - Melt them down, make a tyre, and call it 'Good Year' !
3) What happens,when, a girl makes love with a a) Judge, b) architect and c) banker ,respecdtively ?
a) honourable discharge, b) illegal erection and c) premature withdrawal and lack of interest , respectively !
4) " Always start your day with a lot of S E X / Smile , Energy and eXcitement ! Make it your daily habit so that, you'll be succe-sex-full ! "
5) A guy describing his exp on his 1 st date : She offered her honour ; I honoured her offer ; and the whole night, I was on her and off her ! "
6) A girl opening her legs to her boy friend asks " hamare bete ka kya naam rakhenge ? " . The boy, wearing a condom, replies, " iss ke baad bhi agar nikla, tho rakhenge, ' JAADU GAR' "!
7) A frustrated father's defensive reply to his often unruly and offensive son " I should have wasted you in the bath room ! "
8) a) Take a basket of grapes (b) Now, take that basket into your hands (c) now, stand in front of a mirror (d) What will you see ? " Langoor ke haath mein angoor "
9) Teacher " Who's Sania Mirza ? " Student : A tennis player . Teacher : Who's Mallika Sherawat ? Student : A Penis player !
10)What do you call a drunk Parsi ? Be-Jaan Daruwalla. What do you call a Parsi Pimp ? Naari Contractor.
What do you call a parsi test tube babay ? Bottley Boy !
11) 3 biggest tragedies in mans' life : job sucks ; life sucks ; wife doesn't !
12) " you and me do it in bed ! Do it in Car. Do it standing. do it sitting. Do it in toilet. The best is doing it lying down ! hey don't we, in these positions, give sms ?
13) 23 useless things in a man's body, 20 nails that cannot be hammered ; 2 balls that u can't throw ; 1 cock that cannot crow & don't laugh girls ! You have a pussy that cannot catch a mouse !
14) taan uthaa ke karo ; taang philake karo ; ghoom ghoom ke karo ; aage aur peeche se karo ; saans rok ke karo ; jitne karo utna halka feel hoga ; RAM DEV BABA KI YOGAA !
15) What's a russian sex book called ? ' kis ne mara balls squash ki !' And a chinese sex book called ? you chew mine !
16) A man jumps into bed and starts making wild love. gal: jijaa ji ! main aap ki saali hoon Raadha ! Man : ab bolti hai Radha ! jab ghus gaya aadha ?
17) Policeman arrests a prostitute. Pros : Hey , I'm a sales girl ! Police : What do you sell ? Pros : I sell condoms ; but give a free deomnstration !
18) propose karne kaa naya style : ' duniya ko tod doonga / zamaane ko phod doonga / ek baar haan keh de / bas ek bar haan keh de / main pehli waali ko chod doonga ! '
19) What are 2 things in air , that can make a girl pregnent ? her feet !
20) Scientists have discovered a cake that can cause men to lose 90 % of their potency. IT's called ' Wedding cake' !
21) Have you heard about a new paint called ' blonde paint '? It's not very bright but spreads easy !
22) ek biwi apne ghar ko swarg bana sakthi hai aur apne pathi ko swarg wasi bhi !
23) Differnce between cultures of US and India. In US , you can kiss in public places but can't piss. In india, it's vice versa !
24) Notice near a hyderabadi hair cutting saloon : idhar neeche baal kaat ne kaa dukaan oopar badal gaya hai !
25) How do you tell a girl friend, that you wannt go to toilet during dinner ? " I've to shake hands with a childhood friend of mine, whom, hopefully, I'm gonna introduce to you after dinner ! "
She realised,that,' Phillips 14 inch" was a television set !!
2) What do you do with 365 rubbers ? - Melt them down, make a tyre, and call it 'Good Year' !
3) What happens,when, a girl makes love with a a) Judge, b) architect and c) banker ,respecdtively ?
a) honourable discharge, b) illegal erection and c) premature withdrawal and lack of interest , respectively !
4) " Always start your day with a lot of S E X / Smile , Energy and eXcitement ! Make it your daily habit so that, you'll be succe-sex-full ! "
5) A guy describing his exp on his 1 st date : She offered her honour ; I honoured her offer ; and the whole night, I was on her and off her ! "
6) A girl opening her legs to her boy friend asks " hamare bete ka kya naam rakhenge ? " . The boy, wearing a condom, replies, " iss ke baad bhi agar nikla, tho rakhenge, ' JAADU GAR' "!
7) A frustrated father's defensive reply to his often unruly and offensive son " I should have wasted you in the bath room ! "
8) a) Take a basket of grapes (b) Now, take that basket into your hands (c) now, stand in front of a mirror (d) What will you see ? " Langoor ke haath mein angoor "
9) Teacher " Who's Sania Mirza ? " Student : A tennis player . Teacher : Who's Mallika Sherawat ? Student : A Penis player !
10)What do you call a drunk Parsi ? Be-Jaan Daruwalla. What do you call a Parsi Pimp ? Naari Contractor.
What do you call a parsi test tube babay ? Bottley Boy !
11) 3 biggest tragedies in mans' life : job sucks ; life sucks ; wife doesn't !
12) " you and me do it in bed ! Do it in Car. Do it standing. do it sitting. Do it in toilet. The best is doing it lying down ! hey don't we, in these positions, give sms ?
13) 23 useless things in a man's body, 20 nails that cannot be hammered ; 2 balls that u can't throw ; 1 cock that cannot crow & don't laugh girls ! You have a pussy that cannot catch a mouse !
14) taan uthaa ke karo ; taang philake karo ; ghoom ghoom ke karo ; aage aur peeche se karo ; saans rok ke karo ; jitne karo utna halka feel hoga ; RAM DEV BABA KI YOGAA !
15) What's a russian sex book called ? ' kis ne mara balls squash ki !' And a chinese sex book called ? you chew mine !
16) A man jumps into bed and starts making wild love. gal: jijaa ji ! main aap ki saali hoon Raadha ! Man : ab bolti hai Radha ! jab ghus gaya aadha ?
17) Policeman arrests a prostitute. Pros : Hey , I'm a sales girl ! Police : What do you sell ? Pros : I sell condoms ; but give a free deomnstration !
18) propose karne kaa naya style : ' duniya ko tod doonga / zamaane ko phod doonga / ek baar haan keh de / bas ek bar haan keh de / main pehli waali ko chod doonga ! '
19) What are 2 things in air , that can make a girl pregnent ? her feet !
20) Scientists have discovered a cake that can cause men to lose 90 % of their potency. IT's called ' Wedding cake' !
21) Have you heard about a new paint called ' blonde paint '? It's not very bright but spreads easy !
22) ek biwi apne ghar ko swarg bana sakthi hai aur apne pathi ko swarg wasi bhi !
23) Differnce between cultures of US and India. In US , you can kiss in public places but can't piss. In india, it's vice versa !
24) Notice near a hyderabadi hair cutting saloon : idhar neeche baal kaat ne kaa dukaan oopar badal gaya hai !
25) How do you tell a girl friend, that you wannt go to toilet during dinner ? " I've to shake hands with a childhood friend of mine, whom, hopefully, I'm gonna introduce to you after dinner ! "
posted by Borrowed Wisdom at 12:31 AM
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