(1) A good sermon should have a good beginning & a good ending. And both should be as close as possible. George Burns.

(2)Book Recommendation : ' From Me to you' by Sathya Saran. Collection of essays. On women. Westland publications. 212 pages. Rs.250/-.

(3) Voted as the best double meaning message. College girl to xerox wala : ' bhayya jaldi aage peeche se do do baar kar. period shuru hone wala hai !

(4) Clothes worn by women these days are like fences in the Zoo. They protect the property without obstructing the view ! ( shankar srikakulam)

(5) 3 chinese, Bu, Chu and Fu go to america and try to americanize their names. Bu become buck. Chu becomes Chuck and Fu......... packs his bag and baggage to China !

(6) Swami Nityananda's message to Humanity : " Love the lady but don't touch the body : else , some one will make a CD'.

(7) Heights of pressure in sales : ek sales officer toilet ko gaya aur udhar likha thaa ' agar itna zor business mein lagaata, tho ab tak target complete hotha! " ( medikonda)

(8) Advt for Virgin Atlantic airlines & Mobiles : " Don't go by our name. We are far more experienced than our name suggests ! "

(9) There are 3 male pencils and 1 female pencils in the box. Female pencil got pregnant. Why ? One of the male pencils has got no RUBBER!

(10) What you seize, is what you get. Life's like that.

(11) " I have an oral exam tomorrow. I hope I won't 'blow' it ! "

(12) Woman 1 : What happened to your face ? Woman 2 : My husband bashed up my face. Woman 1 : But I thought he was out of town, na ? Woman 2 : Even I thought so !

(13) What's the only animal with an asshole on the middle of its back ? A police horse.