sms jokes : 24.Nov.2008.Sunday

(1) Solve this puzzle : " I live in water. If you cut my head, I am at your door. If you cut my tail, I am a fruit. If you cut both, then, I am with u. " Find out who am I ? ( from Annaji. Still not found ! )

(2) " Men marry women with the hope that they will never change. Woman marry men with the hope that they would change. In the end, both will be disappointed ! "

(3) " Suhaag raat dulha bola, ' jaaneman ! main tumhe chaand pe le jaaon ya taaron par ? " dulhan boli, " pehele aap rocket ko bataao tab hee bol sakoongi ! "

(4) Net Search : Amphetamine tablets. ( from Jean Paul Sartre's book)

(5) Suman.K 's web site : www.indiadiksuchi.com

(6) suggested by K.V.S.N.Prasad

http://www.free-press-release.com

for all consolidated industry reports

(7) shaadi hone ke ek hafthe ke baad dulhan ki maa phone kar ke poochi, ' beti ! meri dee hui saree peheni kyaa ? kaisi thi ?
Dulhan : kyaa boloon maa ? tera daamaat ab tak cheddi tak pehen ne nahin de raha tha ? saree kyaa peheno?

(8) Just dial's new phone numbers :
040. ( or any city code)
6999.99.99

17.Nov.2008

(1) Indian : Sir, we got a huge order from Paki s ; for 16 inch condoms ! I think it’s to embarrass us ! Captain : Don’t worry, stamp ‘ small size’ on them and ship them !
(2) Dif between Power and Stamina : KhaDe Lund par towel khaDaa karna power hai. Aur sukhaane tak lund ko khaDa rakhna Stamina hai ! Don’t try at home !
(3) From Rafiq Trainer : Free Heart surgery for children : Sri Sathya Sai institute of medical sciences, Bangalore : Phone : 080.2841.1500.
(4) Alcohol contains female hormones. Proof : Men gain weight , talk unnecessarily, become extra emotional and stupid, start fighting without any reason ! ( Prasad valvoline)
(5) “ Tumhaari wife jab ghoom huva tho police ko kyoon nahin bataaya ? Banta : Jab mera scooter ghoom ho gayi thee, police walon ne find our kare magar 15/20 din istemaal kar ke, ragad ragad ke diye ! “
(6) Read “ 5 th discipline “ and ‘ 5 th discipline field book ‘ by Peter Senge. Also check ‘ society for organizational learning’ on the net ( Kavi’s recommendation).
(7) Biz and Economy subscription number : BE 3268.
(8) If you had sex 365 times a year, what would you do ? burn all the condoms, make a tyre out of it, and call it ‘ Good year’.
(9) Visit ‘ way2sms.com’
(10) “ Importance of Unity : “ What did a girl’s left leg say to her right leg ? “ “ United , we stand, divided, we are fucked ! “

24.July.2008 to 15.Nov.2008

(1) “ ZeroDegree “ by Charu Nivedita. Translated from Tamil to English. Blaft Publications. Pages : 232. Price : Rs.315/-. “ ( a novel that takes you apart and allows yourself as you please )
(2) “ Employee Empowerment is like emperor’s new clothes, which everyone talks about but no one actually sees. “ Chris Argyris, U.S. Biz professor.
(3) “ agar aap ki shakal ghadhe se milti hai / tho isme bataao / bechaari ghadhe ka kyaa galtee hai ? “
(4) “ Poverty is contagious. You can catch it from envy-ron-ment. “ pun-gent.
(5) Lund pe aitbaar kisko hai ? mil jaaye tho chod ne ko tho inkaar kis ko hai ? / kuch mushkilein hain choot pane mein hai dost ! / warnaa mooth maarne mein pyaar kisko hai ? “
(6) “ Art is the collaboration between God and artist. And the less the artist does, the better! “ Andre Gide.
(7) Lady : yeh Sadee mein agar mujhe ek bhee Ched ( hole) dikhaa, tho main sadee waapas kar doongi ! Shop wallah : Madam ji pehle aap ched to dikhaao, main poori saadi aap ko free mein doonga !
(8) A shoe that fits one person’s foot, can be a real pain to another person. There is no universal formula for anyone to enjoy life.Each one has to find his / her own.” Carl Gustaf Jung.
(9) “ Who ever named it ‘ necking’ , was a very poor judge of anatomy ! “ Groucho Marx.
(10) “ Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor, campaign funds from the rich, with a promise to protect them from each other. “
(11) “ Life is too short / so love the people who treat you right / forget the ones who don’t / if life gives you a chance, take it / if it changes your life, LET it / no one said it would be easy / but everyone said it would be worth it ! “ George Carlin Song.
(12) “ A séance on a Sunday after noon “ a collection of 22 exquisite short stories. Authored by Ms.Shinie Antony. Publisher : Rupa & Co. Rs.195/-
(13) On giving speech : “ If you don’t strike oil in the first 3 minutes, stop boring ! “ Paul Getty.